The society of today tries very hard in order to present itself in a decent manner. Teen, and late pre-teen, years are by far some of the most stressful of years of ones lives. With hormones flying all over the place and mood swings, friends, and fashions changing practically by the hour, people will strive to fit in. Standing out in this media-crazed generation is not exactly the best way to be accepted by classmates. Popularity is, to most people of this generation, essential (Jon, 2007, pp 450-451).
One of the biggest nightmares that parents face is when their kids transform into the teenagers. It is the age where children tend to be a rebel and are in no position to accept the limitations. The parents wish their children don’t harm themselves in the process. The children or teenagers as one may say, tend to pay no heed to the advice of their parents. In process they begin to argue and run away from their homes too. It is almost impossible for the parents to deal with their kids in a positive manner.
The parents are a wonderful gift of God and they still try to make peace with their kids, despite that the kids turn harsh on them. They continue to keep on communication despite of their classless behaviour towards their parents. The way a teenager may respond to any negotiation is paradox to that of the school kids. For this purpose parents are the one to make compromises to see their child happy. According to the many researchers, parents are not the one to blame for their children’s ravish behaviour.
Parents are not to blame for the rise in bad behaviour among teenagers, research suggests today. Many of the parents exactly know what their kids are doing and where they are. Parents today expect a better response than what they currently display.
It is crucial for parents to recall that in renegading, teens are carrying out an authoritative psychosomatic requirement. Pesky as some of their habits and tastes may be, it facilitates to recognise that matters could be very much tougher! Parents can deal by clenching their teeth and bearing some of this conduct for the interest of their teenagers’ development. Save your worry for genuinely devastating conduct.
The mood of the teens is a very unpredictable one and it may vary from day to day or even moment to moment from upbeat happiness to ill-humoured secession what might not be such a great issue as they think and for no reason. It is due to the changes in the hormones that they turn moody and could be distressful and even frustrating for the parents. In return the parents avoid the overreaction because they know that their kids do not intend to insult them and it is just due to the changes in hormones that one has turned moody.
Teens are frequently in deep in thought with them, a widespread feature of individuals in tension. They presume that everybody all over them is concentrated on them as well. Because of this heightened uncomfortableness, teenagers feel they are constantly “on stage,” and can use hours in front of a mirror dressing them. It is crucial for parents to see egoistic, not as neglect for others, but as a form of psychological self-protection.
Often the teens blame blood relation of being dispiritedly not in contact, out dated and antique. Teens are abysmally tender and easily humiliated by either the looks or the dress of their blood relations or whatever their parents say. Therefore they tend to be reluctant when they are with their parents anywhere outside their home. The parents need not to take it to the heart when the teens request to drop them way before the school. They tend to avoid their dependency towards parents and want to be self-dependent.
As compared to 1986, in 2006 parents expected more from the kids. Infact according to a survey, there is a huge amount of difference in 1986 and in 2006 (Jon, 2008, pp 400-401). The ratio of parents expecting their kids to complete their homework has risen from 90% to 95%. When it comes to politeness, again the expectation of parents has risen to 87%, which was 75% in 1987 (Jon, 2007, pp 450-451). Also the kids nowadays spend more times with their parents than it was earlier.
The teenagers of today indulge themselves in the risk factor and that has increased the concern in the minds of their parents. The teenagers of this era are involved in fast driving (also drink and drive), stealing cars from various locations, cross railway lines without any fear or for that matter destroy anyone’s personal property. It is said that boys will be boys and for that matter they act as a macho and do stuff that may attract many feminine eyes. On the other hand teenage girls too are involved in many rebellious acts such as staying out late night without the permission of their parents and also taking up drugs (Pamela & Natalie, 2005, pp 200-201). According to Professor Colin Pritchard, Bournemouth University in the book `Breaking the Cycle of Educational Alienation’ published in 2005 “The bad news is that 20 years ago boys drugged, drank, smoked, truanted, stole, vandalised and fought more than girls. Today it is very different” (Bakalar & Empfield, 2001, pp 200-202). If the child is found guilty, it is not the fault of the parents as the kids must be responsible of their own actions. But it is the duty of the parents to keep them in check and support them at the time of their distress.
One of the major problems that the kids of today face is that they are addicted to the cigarettes and the other items that need to be banished, at the age of adolescence. The cigarettes are addictive because the active ingredient of it is nicotine. If one’s parent is indulged in smoking, give it up for the sake of kids. It is difficult for non-smoking homes to develop the habits of smoking. Sit down with kids and explain them how much can it addictive. Tell them how waste of money is the smoking habit. Keep on addressing the hazards to health (mostly the kids avoid this although they know it the most. Try not to force them to give up instead apply the need of discussion as an alternate. Encourage them to regularly ask questions. One of the main concern is that the kids or as a matter of fact the adults, get involved in smoking because they find it as a way to relieve stress. In case of this tell the kids the alternate ways of relaxing their minds (Deborah L, 2002, pp 100-101).
Many teens in UK like to stay away from their homes all night long. This has become one of the biggest distresses for the parents. They always worry about because its better for kids to know the difference between what is right and what is wrong and what is safe and what is not. The parents should be in touch with the kids and keep them tracking of exactly where they are or what are they doing at the very moment. It will be easier to track them in case of emergencies. Reasonable rules utilised by the parents often makes the teenager co-operate with them. If this is not done, then the only solution is making use of the sanctions such as being grounded.
Drug abuse is one of the core issues of the youth and the teenagers of today. Teenagers make use of drug to find easy way out of the problems. They take drugs, as a solution to the failures they have faced at some point of time in their lives. By taking drugs the get on a high or shut out the real world (Gary, 2006, pp 100-101).
Another issue that is in relation with the abuse of drugs is the alcohol abuse. The teenagers when see that the adults are drinking excessively they tend to get attracted and in process get the first taste of this abuse. It is important to keep on addressing them the hazards of drinking. According to 2004’s Nuffield funded study, since the last 25 years problems like lying, disobedience and stealing are on a rise because of the excessive use of alcohol and drugs.
One way to deal with the behaviours of teenagers is to introduce them with the limitations as well as merits and demerits of any issue at an early age. Infact, kids are in a better position to understand and obey parents than the teenagers. One cannot set limits on them when they are growing old. It is obvious that kids when transformed to adults are used to the limits.
Bakalar, Nick & Empfield, Maureen; 2001; Understanding teenage depression: a guide to diagnosis, treatment, and management; H. Holt, ISBN: 0805067612, 9780805067613; pp 200-202.
Jon, Savage; 2007; Teenage: the creation of youth culture; Viking; pp 450-451.
Gary, Soto; 2006; Mercy on These Teenage Chimps Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, ISBN: 0152060227, 9780152060220; pp 100-101.
Deborah L, Tolman; 2002; Dilemmas of desire: teenage girls talk about sexuality; Harvard University Press, ISBN: 0674008952, 9780674008953; pp 100-101.
Jon, Savage; 2008; Teenage: The Prehistory of Youth Culture: 1875-1945; Penguin, ISBN: 0140254153, 9780140254150; pp 400-401.
Pamela, Bettis & Natalie, G. Adams; 2005; Geographies of girlhood: identities in-between; Routledge, ISBN: 0805846743, 9780805846744; pp 200-201.